Love and Sharing French Fries

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life that you just knew you would cherish and remember forever? One of those times when you close your eyes, take a deep a breath, and say a silent prayer of thankfulness for being alive because you know you're experiencing one of the great joys in life? 

I've definitely had a few of those. Some are obvious like my wedding day, the moment I heard my son's heartbeat for the first time and, of course, the day he was born. Some are more random like sitting in the dirt peeling onions in a small village in Egypt while beautiful Egyptian children are asking me to sing songs with them.  The smell of those onions was so strong, I can almost smell them now as I'm writing this! I didn't mind though, I remember looking up at the sky and thanking God for allowing me to be there. 

Many of these times in my life have been captured on camera and I am so thankful. But, the other day my mom gave me a few pictures that she thought I might want and I cried when I saw what they were. They were pictures of one of those "moments" that I didn't know had been photographed! 

The day before Erik and I were married we had our rehearsal dinner at one of our favorite Austin spots, The Oasis. It is beautiful and has some of the most amazing views of Lake Travis. We rented out a space there and had some special time with each other and those closest to us. The day before our wedding had been a busy one for me and I had barely had time to breathe, so I was more than ready to relax some at dinner. At some point, Erik and I decided to walk out on the balcony and look at the sunset. The balcony was huge, but everyone else was inside eating and talking, unaware that we had slipped away. (Well, we thought so anyway.) It felt like, for a moment, we were the only two in the world. I'll never forget looking at him and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I loved this man and would be by his side for the rest of my life.  

I'm so thankful that my parents thought to capture this moment for us through the glass of the restaurant. It made me remember how I felt that day. How excited I was to take his name and be his bride. 

Then...

I remembered a few of our interactions in the last few days. I remember that earlier that day I had pushed him away when he tried to kiss me because I was busy getting ready for work. I remembered that the day before, instead of greeting him and saying I was glad he was home from work, I told him he needed to watch Noah so I could get some things done. I thought about how I often go watch TV in the other room if he is watching ESPN or something I'm not interested in, instead of spending time with him doing the things he likes to do. One day, he told me "You don't laugh at my jokes anymore. You used to think I was funny." That made me sad because I know he likes to make me smile and I really do think he is funny.

Now, I love my husband and I am "in love" with my husband, but it hit me looking at those pictures that I, too often, let routine and busyness affect how I treat him.

Erik is an amazing man. He is godly, has integrity, and is compassionate towards others. He is hard-working, but he is never too busy for his family. He prays for me and asks me everyday how my day was. He is an amazing daddy. The best. He is drop dead gorgeous (obviously). He has a great laugh. He shares his Chic-fil-a french fries with me, even after I said I didn't want to order any of my own. He rubbed my feet almost every day when I was pregnant because they were hurting and swollen and because he loves me.  Not a day has gone by in our 3 years of marriage that I don't hear "You're so beautiful, Cara." Really, he tells me every day.

I'm thankful to have these pictures, but I am even more thankful that they reminded me how precious this man and our marriage was. I'm only 3 years in, but I can tell you that marriage is hard.  It takes work. A lot of work. A lot of grace and forgiveness and patience. A lot of listening and talking, and listening some more. It takes realizing that marriage is not about you being happy, but about how happy you can make the other person. Its about helping one another be more like Christ. It takes putting each other's needs before your own and being loving, even when we don't feel like being loving. It means respecting Erik when he isn't being so loving, and Erik loving me when I'm not so respectful. It means being thoughtful. And it even means sharing your favorite french fries.

But it is so worth it. And I needed to be reminded of this today. 

And maybe you did too.

Go back and reminisce about your wedding day. Pull out old pictures or videos and have fun talking about good memories you shared together before the babies came. Remember how you met and all the cool and crazy things God did to bring you together. Go on a date. Go for a walk. Hold hands.

I pray that today you look at your spouse in a way you maybe haven't remembered to in a long time.  I pray that you choose to focus on the good things about your spouse, instead of the bad. Pray for God to work out the "bad" things in your spouse, but more importantly pray that you will be the husband or wife that you are supposed to be first. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and remember that love is patient. Love is kind. 

And love is sharing french fries.