B Team Bravery
Average. Ordinary. Normal. I don't know about you, but thats how I've always felt about myself. Just Average. Not always in a bad way...just in a matter of fact sort of way. I've always been average height and, except for my 50 lb. weight gain when I was pregnant, I've always been a pretty average weight. In middle school I was always on the "B" team and I was pretty good at getting 3rd in track. I am an okay cook. I like to create and try to be artistic in different ways but I'm no Picasso. I don't know if there has ever been an area where I really felt I shined. The Bible tells us that we have spiritual gifts, but i've always struggled to really identify what mine are.
Now, before you think this is a post about feeling sorry for myself, I have a purpose in saying these things because I just wonder if anyone else has felt this way. It's easy to get down on ourselves for our weaknesses or lack of strengths. But lately God has been showing me that ordinary people tend to be the lives He loves to use the most for His glory and purposes. If I look at the lives of people in the Bible that God used to do amazing things I find pretty ordinary people: fishermen, shepherds, tax collectors, servants, teenagers, mothers, and carpenters. I'm just a wife and mom who works part-time processing mortgage loans in San Angelo, TX. Nothing exciting, but it looks like I could be a part of that "ordinary" list.
There's been this stirring that I've felt for over a year to blog. I have pushed this feeling aside because although I like to write in my journal, I'm not a writer or a photographer by any stretch of the imagination and who would want to read what I have to say anyway? I tend to not do things if I don't think I will be good at it or at least decent. I wonder about the things I may have missed out on because of fear of failure or rejection. You see, I'm a dreamer, but very seldom a doer. Bob Goff wrote a book called Love Does and basically writes about the fact that love is an action. It does things. It doesn't just think about it or talk about it. And thats what I want. I want to love people. I want to encourage others. I want to be a part of God's redemptive story in the lives of other women. And I won't be able to do that if I never do the things the Lord is leading me to do.
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
So blogging is one of those "doing" things I'm starting. Maybe my family is the only one who will ever read it (Hi Mom!), but this "B Teamer" is deciding to be brave. My prayer is that God will use it to stir others' hearts for Him and that they will be encouraged. Speaking of my mom...she has told me before that I am good at writing notes of encouragement. So, my hope is that that will carry over to this blog. (Can you use "that that"? I don't even know. Again, I question if I'll be good at this.) I don't want this blog to be a source of comparison or how to's because, honestly, many times I have more questions than answers. I pray this blog reads more like a letter and feels more like coffee with a good friend. I hope people find comfort in the fact that life is many things, but Jesus is always good.
Have you ever felt scared to try something you always wanted to do? Why not try now? Let's be brave together.
